Category: humor

Drawing God

Drawing God

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A kindergarten teacher was walking around observing her classroom of children while they were drawing pictures. As she got to one girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”

The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”

Without looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

Gotta Love British Humor

Gotta Love British Humor

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I’ve long been a fan of British humor and find it pretty refreshing that even after the crazies attack, they haven’t lost that great dry wit.  Some of my favorite highlights are:

  • “The fact that some of the people involved in the recent unfortunate events may have been doctors is totally coincidental, just as if they had been accountants, plumbers, or random members of a deranged apocalyptic religious cult.”
  • [Prime Minister Gordon] Brown said further government communications would prohibit the use of certain prejudicial words like “doctor,” “Vauxhall,” “podiatrist,” “propane,” “Asia,””drive,” “ticking noises,” “panic,” and “the.”
  • “We are asking for vigilance, not vigilantes,” said Jameson. “After reporting alleged activities, the public should wait for the professionals, who have the necessary multicultural training and snappy reflective uniforms to prevent and/or clean up afterwards.”
  • “As we saw recently in Glasgow, if a well-meaning but untrained citizen steps in and tries to stop a diverse person of activity by kicking him or her in the testicles, he or she could suffer a painful tendon injury.”

Good stuff!

Why won’t you sleep?

Why won’t you sleep?

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For the most part, I can’t really complain about how Noah sleeps. He usually falls asleep easily, and sleeps through just about anything, it seems. Given how much Andrew fought sleep at the same age, I should be extremely grateful for any sort of improvement, and I am. However, Noah has had a rough night or two over the past few days, so I have had to get up a couple of times a night to go pat or rock him to get him to go sleep: Stumble in the room; Start the classical CD playing again; Re-insert the pacifier (which I hate using, btw, but what do you do?); Starting patting or rocking. This morning at around 2:00 or 4:00 (you lose track eventually), as I was losing feeling in my arm from patting, listening to the CD and praying he’d drift off, I got to thinking, “Noah, the sooner you learn that you’re supposed to fall asleep when classical music plays, the happier we’ll both be.” 😉

Funny “Dance” Video

Funny “Dance” Video

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I got to talking to my brother- and father-in-law over the weekend about a video about Steve Ballmer on YouTube that I found pretty funny, if not somewhat embarrassing.  To really appreciate it, though, you have to sit through a couple of others, or at least be somewhat familiar with them.

Here‘s the “original” Steve Ballmer video, lovingly referred to as The
Monkey Dance. You don’t necessarily have to watch the whole thing, but it’s only a  minute 12 long, and your life will be that much better. 😉 Then there’s this video. A little less hyper, but just as…um… dumb. 😛

Take those two appalling displays, layer on a catchy beat, and you have
some High Techno fun!  (You like that?  High techo + techno? 🙂 We all at one point or another will embarrass ourselves in public — I’m exhibit A on that one — but this guy doesn’t seem to be aware of how…crazy he comes across, or maybe he doesn’t care.  Either way, the dance mix is pretty funny stuff. 😛

Funny Bumper Stickers

Funny Bumper Stickers

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Over at The Corner, they have a pretty funny thread about bumper stickers going.  Here are some highlights:

Great Bumper Sticker [Jonah Goldberg]
Yesterday the fair Jessica and I were stuck behind a pickup truck with many liberal bumper stickers. My favorite was (quoting from memory) “Let’s have a time limit on poverty, not just welfare.” I love this. The image that comes to mind is of some dude lying on the couch, his wife and/or mother hectoring him to get a job and he says, “look, my poverty time limit is over in six months, then we’re golden.”

Re: Great Bumper Stickers [John Podhoretz]
I visualized world peace once. It was nice.

Re: Great Bumper Stickers [Jonah Goldberg]
I once imagined a world where we paid for our military with a Pentagon bake sale. It raised $113.48. The following week Belize declared war on us.

Good stuff. 🙂