Category: random

Funny Bumper Stickers

Funny Bumper Stickers

Over at The Corner, they have a pretty funny thread about bumper stickers going.  Here are some highlights:

Great Bumper Sticker [Jonah Goldberg]
Yesterday the fair Jessica and I were stuck behind a pickup truck with many liberal bumper stickers. My favorite was (quoting from memory) “Let’s have a time limit on poverty, not just welfare.” I love this. The image that comes to mind is of some dude lying on the couch, his wife and/or mother hectoring him to get a job and he says, “look, my poverty time limit is over in six months, then we’re golden.”

Re: Great Bumper Stickers [John Podhoretz]
I visualized world peace once. It was nice.

Re: Great Bumper Stickers [Jonah Goldberg]
I once imagined a world where we paid for our military with a Pentagon bake sale. It raised $113.48. The following week Belize declared war on us.

Good stuff. ๐Ÿ™‚

My New Do

My New Do

For about seven years now, Angela has been cutting my hair.  We figured we could save a lot of money if we were to just buy a hair cutting kit once, versus paying $10-$15 month.  Recently, we started wondering if we could save some time in how we cut my hair.  Traditionally, she would clipper the back and the sides, then use scissors and a comb on the top, but that takes a lot of time and is a bit more difficult.  What we started wondering is if we could just use clippers, albeit with a longer guard, on the top, replacing the need for scissors. 

Well, since we have no major picture/family events any time soon, we decided last night that it was time to try it.  We started of with a 7/8″ guard on top, but that seemed too long, so we dropped it down to 1/2″ and let her go to work, which she thought was hilariously awesome.  The end result?

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The US Navy Says Goodbye to the Tomcat

The US Navy Says Goodbye to the Tomcat

Recently, Angela, Andrew and I took a “mini-vacation” to Tulsa — just a quick trip to get away before Noah is born.  In Tulsa, we visited the Tulsa Air and Space Museum.  Those that know me know my fascination with military aircraft.  At one point, late in my adolescent years, I pondered (if ever so briefly) the possibly of joining the military for the purpose of flying one of those great war machines, but my imperfect vision killed that dream before it had a chance to talk hold.

At any rate, yesterday on a fairly popular geek new site, I saw this article, which reminded me of our visit to that museum in Tulsa.  Sitting in the middle of the museum floor was a real F-14 Tomcat.  Much to Angela’s amusement, I walked all around that aircraft (easily one of my favorites of the modern US military), peeking in the air intakes, investigating the landing gears, staring into the back of the engines.  I got to run my hand down the plane, and even walk under it for a real close up inspection.  The real highlight came when Andrew and I climbed the ladder to look into the cockpit.  The museum volunteer told me something I though I’d never hear:  I could sit in the cockpit if I wanted to.  gasp!  First, I let Andrew sit in the pilot’s seat.  He played with the stick and pushed buttons, generally having the great time that any three year old boy would have when presented with lots of new buttons.  I then lifted him from the pilot’s seat, and sat him in the back in the RIO’s seat, at which point I slid into the pilot’s seat.  Extremely cool.  All the gauges and buttons, knobs, switches and lights.  For me, easily the best part of the trip in terms of sites visited.

What really struck me as odd, though (although it shouldn’t if I had stopped to think), was how gritty the interior was.  With my only real exposure to the Tomcat “in action” being movies like Top Gun, I had always pictured this jet, and every other, I guess, as being pristine, shiny metal cylinders of military dominance.  While they were certainly militarily dominant, they’re anything but pristine.  The console looked a bit grimy (though it had been cleaned for the museum), and the fabric that covered the sides of the cockpit was old and torn, dangling in place as if tired from a long and hard commission, which I’m sure it had. 

The movies also made it look quite spacious in the cockpit, with room to turn around and talk to the RIO.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  To sit in the pilot’s seat (and I’m sure the RIO seat was the same — I didn’t get a chance to sit in that one), you really have to wedge yourself in.  And, sure, you can turn and talk to your RIO just like Maverick did to Goose, but my guess is that you’re really going to have to crank to get turned around.

So it was a very surreal and eye-opening experience for me.  We even have pictures taken from the floor of me in the front and Andrew in the back.  Very cool.  While the experience did shatter some odd misconceptions I had about the physical state of the aircraft, the act of getting to touch it made my fascination with the plane grow that much deeper.  And it is with a bit of nostalgic regret that I read that the Navy has offficially decommissioned such a great jet, but it has had a long and successful career, and those replacing it, like the F-18, F-22 and the Joint Strike Fighter, are at least as cool, and probably much more powerful, so my boyish fascination with flying war machines can live on in child-like wonder! ๐Ÿ™‚

Take me out AT the Ball Game!

Take me out AT the Ball Game!

Last night, Angela, Andrew and I met some friends at the Bricktown Ballpark for a Redhawks game.  We love going there (especially when the tickets are free.  Haven’t bought a ticket yet in 5 years of frequent attendace :).  An added bonus last night was that it was Thirsy Thursday, meaning all drinks are only $1 (if you don’t mind the tiny cups ;). 

It was over 100 degrees, and we had been there a while, so I decided that it was time to take advantage of the drink promotion, so up the stairs, pretty oblivious to what was going on.  As I walked up the steps, I noticed everyone looking up at me in horror when I realized that it probably wasn’t me they were looking at.  Right about that time, something struck me pretty solidly on my left shoulder and bounced away.  Yup.  They weren’t looking at me but the foul ball about to hit me, which it did with passion.  Luckily, it hit the muscle on my shoulder and not a bone, so it didn’t hurt too badly.  Even this morning, it’s just a little tender with no sign of a bruise yet.  Kind of funny.

I am able to take away two things from the event, though:  a good story, and a very good reminder not to get up and walk around while someone is at bat. ๐Ÿ™‚

The Front Porch Test

The Front Porch Test

Everyone knows that one of the most important things a software project is a good name, but coming up with a good name is not easy. To help with the process, we apply what my boss, Mitch, refers to as the front porch test, which is actually a rule of thumb from the pet world. It goes like this:

When picking a name for a dog, imagine yourself standing on the front porch yelling the dogโ€™s name out into the neighborhood. If you think youโ€™d feel like an idiot yelling that name, then choose something else.

Replace โ€œdogโ€ with โ€œprogramโ€ and you should get the idea.

Tag, Title and Tax

Tag, Title and Tax

As some of you who read this are probably aware, Angela and I bought a minivan last month.  That means, of course, the my transition from coolness (weak as it was) to “boring” old man is now complete, and I don’t mind it a bit.  I love driving that thing.

At any rate, I went to the tag agency finally to transfer the title into our name, which means, of course, we have to pay excise tax on the vehicle.  I put it off as long as I could, because I knew they were really going to let us have it.  That is what governments do, of course:  tax and stifle.  Much to my chagrin, I was not disappointed.  The hammer dropped to the tune of $749.50.  When writing the check, in the memo field I almost put “Excess Tax” (instead of “Excise Tax”), but, in the end, I sucked it up and said nothing like a boring old man. ๐Ÿ˜‰

That Proverbial Ointment

That Proverbial Ointment

Of the simple things, there are few things in life nicer than ice cold tea.  Likewise, of those simple things, there are few things in life worse than hefting a nice glass of ice cold tea to your lips, tipping the cup, then, as that sweet brewed nectar flows gently into your mouth, you notice a gnat has ended his short existence in your tea.

Brace Yourself!

Brace Yourself!

Today, I went to the orthodontist to have more stuff put in my mouth.  He bonded my “upper 3 to 3” which means he put brackets on my upper teeth from canine to canine.  He then took a “zip strip” and wound it in a figure eight pattern around/between the brackets on my front teeth.  This string will pull my teeth back together and fill in the gap that this past month of palatal expansion has created.  It’s pretty amazing stuff.

When I got home, Angela wanted to see what they did, meaning, of course, Andrew wanted to see to, so I picked him up so that he could get a good look.  After a little bit of looking and pointing, Andrew proclaims, “That wooks weawwy odd!”  Floored us. ๐Ÿ˜›

Whoa, man!

Whoa, man!

Here is a pretty sick story about a man who “became” a woman.  He paid some doctor to remove certain items and …um… rewire some things (I’m guessing here.  I really don’t care to know the nitty gritty details).  He then filed some paperwork with the government to legally change his gender from male to female.  So he’s a woman now, right? I don’t think so.  If you were to take a look at his DNA, you would still find that pesky Y chromosome, which makes him a male.  If I were to have a trunk surgically attached to my face and make my ears large and flappy, I’d be no closer to being an elephant than this man is to being a woman.  Physical appearance and legal documents don’t make us anything at all in this regard.  All this surgery has done is make him one unattractive woman.